The end of the year is approaching and again I am on my "Facebook Detox". It is crazy the things that I have learned during this time as I don't plan on returning till January 1.
(I did, however, have to sneak on for a few seconds twice for a phone number and to accept a dinner reservation).
Other than that, there have been no status updates. No responses to the notifications (I didn't get any from anyone anyway) and I haven't used it to log on anywhere but Shutterfly and Groupon.
Problems on social media, yes. Problems for me on social media, yes. Do I desire to go back...maybe.
For over a month now, I have literally taken the time to observe people that are either on their phones for personal reasons or perhaps when I notice they are on Facebook and it was alarming what goes on.
For instance, I watched the group of women that take a Cardio Ballet Class at the same gym I attend this morning. They all were sitting around the room, face down, texting and scrolling without saying a word. A little boy (around the age of 3) walked around the room saying "hi" and the women just looked up for a second and then right back to the phone. This little boy did this a few times with several women in the room and then returned to where his mother was sitting and she, following the suit of the other women, ignored his cute little "hi" as well.
None of the women spoke a word to each other. I looked like the weird freak, sitting there looking around ready to talk to the first woman who complained about the weather or mentioned that she was tired. But, nothing. I couldn't wait for class to start because it just felt weird. No socializing while WOMEN sat in a room.
This happened so many times during this course of the 30 days that I have been off Facebook and I actually felt more engaged in the world recognizing this. I feel that the phone and the social media have created a very harsh division between people but it is us that have decided to fall into the trap.
I can get caught up in other things like Pinterest or even Instagram if I am not careful. Thankfully though, I have recognized this disconnect and I find that I no longer desire to be a follower who may end up a zombie come apocalypse time. (hee hee)
Seriously though, I am thankful for taking this time off. I have enjoyed the evening sunsets, walks with my girls, watching their faces wrinkle up with laughter and listening. Yes, listening.
We think that we are listening to our children, friends, husband when we are on social media but really we are not. It is like saying that we are listening when we are reading a romance novel while listening to someone yell that a train that is coming. Facebook draws us into other people's lives and gives us no reason to listen to someone that we can engage later. The person sitting before us is cheated and the Facebook post is more intriguing. We have to know what is going on now. We cannot wait. So we "like" it before it gets away. The person before us whether is it is our kids or husband, are always going to be there so we tend to put them on hold, like putting down that romance novel you can read later.
My kids have been better behaved since my "detox" and I believe it is because I am paying attention. I am listening and I am engaged. I don't feel bad for not knowing that someone bought a new car or has to go to the bathroom or that their child won another mediocre award at school for showing up on time.
I find that the more that I get away from Facebook, the closer I become to those who take the time to meet up and have a coffee or get together over the weekends. I found more time with God and that has been the most fulfilling time for me.
Finding a balance is difficult because the culture that we are in is all about social media. There are times that I find myself "bored", however I think back to the look on that little boys' face, the one who will never be 3 years old again and may never socialize with people face to face because he was taught not to.
So here is to another 30 days and a detox that hopefully brings even more joy!
Love
Chanda
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